better
fam
ily
the impoverished Caribbean nation of Haiti by
an artists’ cooperative. When we decorated that
Christmas, it somehow felt right to leave the
two crèches until last, after the tree and the rest
of the decorations had gone up.
Cast fall as my wife, Michelle, and I traveled
through southern Indiana on a rare weekend
alone, we passed the Monastery Immaculate
Conception, home to the Sisters of St. Benedict
of Ferdinand. After an impromptu tour of the
grounds and the breathtaking church, we
noticed a small gift store tucked away in a
nondescript brick building.
There, we found our third crèche. It only had
four small handmade cloth pieces—the figures of
Mary, Joseph, baby Jesus, and an arch from
which dangled a carefully sewn yellow star.
Because it was made in Peru, its colors are
predominately the vivid blues and reds you
often see in South American handicrafts. A
nun explained to us that the proceeds of the
purchase went to help the village where it
was made.
As Christmas approached last year, we
decided to create a separate crèche night to give
special attention to the Nativity scenes that
seemed to have been placed directly in our path,
once a year, like clockwork. That each of the
crèches was made in places of humble means,
exactly like the scene they represent, wasn’t lost
on us either.
Crèche night is a simple affair, but that makes
it no less meaningful. We choose the locations
in our home where each Nativity scene will rest
for the season, and we take turns placing each
piece. Jack, our youngest son, always places the
manger last.
We spend the rest of the evening just being
together, sipping cocoa, munching on treats, and
talking. It gives us a chance to tell our sons
what we believe and why, and it allows us a
peek into their own developing beliefs. And it
gives our whole family a very welcome
unrushed evening in an overly rushed season.
In August, we found this year’s crèche. It was
made in an African village, each figure carefully
constructed from rolled banana fibers. The
woman selling it from her farmer’s market stall
knew the people who had made it—she was
“Mv son, Jack, has a special role in the
tradition we’ve created. As the youngest
of three, he’s the one who places the last
piece in each Nativity scene we own.”
originally from that village. With the stories she
told us of hope amid poverty, I can already tell
that the crèche night conversation this year is
going to be a great one.
Louise Nayer, a professor of English and
creative writing at City College of San Francisco,
who has researched and written about traditions
and rituals, tells me that my family is one of many
striving to make the holidays more meaningful in
their own way. “Our lives have gotten so
enormously busy that many people are looking to
create time during the holidays where they can
just be together without the need to buy
anything,” says Louise, who co-authored
How to
Bury a Goldfish: And Other Ceremonies &
Celebrations for Everyday Life.
“These rituals we
create often teach values, too, especially ones that
center around compassion and fellowship.”
For more stories of holiday traditions, see page 233.
232
DECEMBER 2009 BETTER HOMES AND GARDENS
